Israel Part I – Birthright

I can’t think of a better way to start my journey than the two and a half weeks I just spent in Israel. The first 10 days were on the Birthright/Taglit program, and after that I took a quick three-day trip to Mykonos, Greece and spent a few days exploring Tel Aviv.
If you’re not familiar with Birthright, it’s a free 10 day trip to Israel for Jewish young adults sponsored by donors and the Israeli government. Yes, I said FREE – they really know how to market to Jews. You go with either the 18-22 age group or 22-26 group, and spend ten days touring the main Jewish and cultural sites in the country. I was apprehensive going into it because it’s been so long since I had to participate in group activities, and because I expected it to be a bunch of drunk JAP-y 22 year olds who had just graduated college, but I literally couldn’t have asked for a better trip. I rarely felt like I was being babied or told what to do, and everyone else on the trip were awesome 25 & 26 year olds (still drunk of course).

We all met up four hours before our flight at Newark airport, where we pretended to remember people’s names, played Jewish Geography and figured out who in the group was single. Of course there were two other girls who went to Tulane on the trip, and more New York/Long Island accents than I could count. We met our trip leaders Shosh and Adam, who were our camp counselors for the 10 days. We boarded the plane and everyone shuffled around seats, and thirteen hours (and varying amounts of sleep later) we landed in Tel Aviv. I was in for a rude awakening when I ordered an iced coffee at the airport and received a coffee-flavored slushee. This happened several times in Israel because iced coffee is bae and I was committed to finding it. I’ve finally given up, see you in five months Starbucks!

I knew Israel was a tiny country, but I was amazed when our bus ride from the airport in Tel Aviv to Jerusalem was only about 45 minutes. There we met our guide Hagai who was AWESOME/SABABA and totally made the trip. Literally I’ve never had a better tour guide. We spent Shabbat in Jerusalem and then had a calm, quiet night out (lol jk) on Saturday at a bar that targeted Birthright groups with offers of free shots and music remiscent of a middle school dance. Get low.

I won’t go through the entire trip itinerary (and to be honest I don’t remember half of it), but here are my highlights, lowlights, foods eaten, and lessons learned:

Highlights:
– Floating in the dead sea, which luckily requires no swimming ability
– Finding out that my phone case is indeed waterproof
– All of the hikes
– Watching the sunrise on top of Mount Masada
– Explaining Game of Thrones fan theories to one of our Israeli soldiers on the way down from Masada
– The awesome Israeli soldiers who joined us for most of the trip
– Starting Mensch of the Day and Putz of the Day (who gave me a microphone?)
– Becoming a tattoo designer (who gave me a pen?)
– Visiting the Western Wall
– My nicknames for everyone almost catching on
– Hugging Hazee, our guide at Yad Vashem (the Holocost museum) who is maybe my favorite person I’ve ever met
– Singing (more like screaming – hence the laryngitis) on the bus home from our night out in Tel Aviv
– The Mediterranean Sea
– Spending Shabbat at a Kibbutz
– The Birthright water drinking game

Lowlights:
– Realizing I left all of my makeup at my parents’ house
– Hotel food
– Prickly pears. PSA: if you’re ever given the opportunity to pick a prickly pear, DON’T DO IT!
– Getting horrible laryngitis and not being able to talk for two days
– Getting a rugburn on my face
– That guy in Jerusalem yelling at me for swearing while female, then insinuating that I might be a dude, then trying to convert me to Christianity
– Opening a wine bottle with a makeup brush because we didn’t have a wine opener and getting red wine all over the wall of our hotel

Food:
– Falafel, duh
– Shakshuka (spicy tomato sauce with baked eggs that you dip bread into)
– This Yemeni quesadilla type thing that was almost like a thick, small crepe with olive oil, spices, tomatoes, lettuce, onions and CHEESE
– Hummus and cucumber at every meal
– Okay fine, the iced coffee slushies are actually delicious

Lessons learned:
– Stop ordering iced coffee
– Do not try to make modifications to menu items
– Do not try to talk an Israeli bartender through making SoCo and lime shots
– I don’t need as much “alone time” as I thought I did
– Your first impression of someone isn’t nearly as accurate as you might think
– If a local tells you it will take a certain amount of time to get somewhere (like the airport), triple it, and that’s how long it will take you to get there

Words I actually know in Hebrew:
– Shalom = hello
– Toda = thank you
– Shlicha = excuse me
– Sababa = awesome

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